As a performing artist I tour the country constantly, often finding myself in a new city every day. Not having the time that leisure travel affords, I’ve been perfecting the art of Hit and Run Tourism, learning how to take in a new city as quickly as possible. While I like to see the normal sights, I have a particular love of good coffee, good food, good art and anything exceptionally strange and unusual. This is what I’ve found in cities across America.

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When I gave a call to my northeast liberal elite friend to complain about the lack of culture in Palm Beach, Florida, his apt response informed me that “going to Palm Beach and expecting to find culture is like going to Beverly Hills expecting to find culture.” Popular culture perhaps (and said friend would have you believe that pop culture is the only culture, which is why I was surprised at his statement), but nothing in the way of genuinely intelligent, interesting or stimulating culture.

And why would it have anything beyond the extensive shopping that it boasts? Palm Beach is not a port city (though there is a very busy shipping port just down the road), does not boast a long history and has a relatively small population.

My work took me to Palm Beach and the luxury property of The Colony resort, favorite of presidents, diplomats and classic film stars. The following is what I discovered.

Founded in 1890 by Standard Oil co-founder Henry Flagler, Palm Beach was designed from the get-go to be a tourist destination and playground of the affluent. In fact it was Flagler himself that first conceived of Florida as a destination location, and towards that end he built what was then the largest hotel in the world - The Breakers. Made entirely out of wood, The Breakers hotel burned several times but was each time rebuilt better than ever, and if you find yourself in Palm Beach you’ll want to see this stunning property (pictures here). As one gentleman that I spoke to at the airport warned me though, “bring plenty of money. An omelet cost me $20″. I didn’t ask if it was two eggs or three. But perhaps you could always do what he did: convince yourself that you’re paying for the view and service, and that the food is free.

In fact, if you are anywhere in Palm Beach, you should bring money. There are three things that you should see. The Breakers hotel, Mar-A-Lago (now owned by Donald Trump) and Worth Avenue, one of the most exclusive shopping streets in the world boasting such retailers as Armani, Gucci, Christian Dior, Prada and Valentino. While Worth Ave. is entirely walkable, you’ll have to take a cab to see The Breakers and Mar-A-Lago.

If you find yourself on Worth Ave. - a mere three blocks of beau monde, with plenty of ways to squander a fortune nevertheless - be forewarned that the resident population of Palm Beach has a median age of 67 and most tourists are within a similar age bracket, so you won’t find an abundance of “hip” as you would on Fifth Avenue in NYC or Rodeo Drive in LA – despite the extremely stylish and disturbingly realistic mannequins in the window of Escada. That said, I found the most beautiful set of cutlery (it’s the metal bender in me) for a very reasonable $4,895 and a 5″ paper journal, of the type that you’d find in any Borders Bookstore, for a mere $56. I hear that the paper doubles as plush bathroom tissue for incontinent older folks.

Though you may not be inclined to spend much money on the street (well, if you’re reasonable that is), it is worth the walk up and down to enjoy the Mizner architecture, and be sure to explore the little alleyways just off of the street where you’ll find some very beautiful little courtyards lined with more reasonable smaller shops. The courtyards found down these side alleys, with the surrounding flora, fauna and fountains are very reminiscent of a Mediterranean town - they remind me a lot of Italy in fact - and you’ll even find the occasional restaurant where you can sit and enjoy a small bite or beverage while you inhale the aroma of the flowers and enjoy the indirect sunlight and moderate temperatures.

Lovers of fine cars may enjoy walking street-side to see the endless parade of luxury vehicles, driving and parked up and down the street almost haphazardly as if they don’t cost the hundreds of thousands that they do. Another destination for the men tired of smelling perfume at the counter in Chanel is the Grande Armee antique and unique militaria shop located in a small courtyard just off the south side of the street. I wandered in looking for, of course, antique swords to swallow. Jim, the man behind the counter, is an exceedingly friendly guy who is very open to talking about any subject and of course would be happy to show you around their collection of truly interesting militaria - I am by no means a military guy, but even I found the artifacts contained within fascinating.

Those looking for food will find plenty of options immediately around Worth St., especially if you walk just north on South County Rd, but you’ll have to walk a bit further if you’re interested only in a quick bite while on the run. As you’ll undoubtedly quickly exhaust the available options for “fun” in Palm Beach - unless you simply love being on the beach or can shop for days - you’re better off to hop in a cab to West Palm Beach, just a short jaunt down the bank-and-palm-lined Royal Palm Way and over the bridge and crowded yacht docks. There’s more shops to explore on the other side of the bridge, and those on a tighter budget will find the shops in West Palm a bit more accessible. Though there is not a similar abundance of art galleries, lovers of culture (and I certainly don’t recommend the Palm Beach galleries for that!) will at least find a couple performing arts centers and a bona fide book store - which you’ll have all to yourself, for it’s always empty!

TIP: Call Martin at Martin’s Limo & Taxi Service for that ride. It’ll cost you around $15 plus tip - roughly the same or less as a normal cab - but he’ll arrive in a clean, stylish black car and if you engage him, he’ll chat your ear off about the area, giving you an impromptu tour while you ride. I used him no less than four times and will continue to do so every time that I’m back. Martin’s Limo & Taxi Service - 561-856-3198

Stay Tuned for Part 2: West Palm Beach

tags: armani, christian dior, donald trump, escada, fifth avenue, flagler, florida, grande armee, gucci, mar-a-lago, martin’s limo, mizner, palm beach, prada, rodeo drive, standard oil, the breakers, the colony, tourism, travel, valentino, worth st., luxury cars, shopping

This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 21st, 2007 at Mar 21, 07 | 1:03 am and is filed under Just Noumenon Posts, Travel. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.